See the Lamest in Gamerwear.
Gamer Concepts

404

Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web message "404, URL Not Found" meaning that the document you've tried to access can't be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man."

Adminisphere

The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

Alpha Geek

The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."

AMIGA

A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

APPLE

Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

BASIC

Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

Batmobiling

Putting up an emotional shield just as a relationship enters that intimate, vulnerable stage. Refers to the retractable armor covering the Batmobile. As in, "She started talking marriage and he started batmobiling."

Beepilepsy

The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.

Begathon

A TV or radio fund-raiser for a charity, religious organization, or PBS station that employs every known form of guilt, sweet talking, and outright begging to get people to fork over the dough.

Betamaxed

When a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition; "Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market".

Blowing Your Buffer

Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. "Damn, I just blew my buffer!"

Bookmark

To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor borrowed from web browsers). "I bookmarked him after seeing his cool demo at Siggraph."

Brain Fart

A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly. A burst of useful information. "I know you're busy on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?" Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.

Career-Limiting Move (CLM)

Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

CD-ROM

Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

CGI Joe

A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Chip Jewelry

A euphemism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for that Mac SE, and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."

COBOL

Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

Cobweb Site

A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long time. A dead web page.

Crapplet

A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"

Dead Tree Edition

The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the San Francisco Chronicle..."

DEC

Do Expect Cuts

Dilberted

To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."

Dorito Syndrome

Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."

DOS

Defective Operating System

Egosurfing

Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers looking for the mention of your name.

Elvis Year

The peak year of something's popularity. "Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993."

Generica

The America of fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions; "We were so lost in Generica, I couldn't remember what city it was."

Glazing

Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?"

Going postal

Totally stressed out and losing it like postal employees who went on shooting rampages.

Gray Matter

Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and established.

Graybar Land

The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."

High dome

Egghead, scientist, Ph.D.

Hollywired

See Siliwood

IBM

I Blame Microsoft

Irritainment

Annoying entertainment that you can't stop watching (e.g., the O.J. trial).

ISDN

It Still Does Nothing

It's a Feature

From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.

Juice A Brick

To recharge the big, heavy NiCad batteries used in portable video cameras. "You better start juicing those bricks, we've got a long shoot tomorrow."

Keyboard Plaque

The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of keyboard plaque."

Link Rot

The process by which links on a web page became as obsolete as the sites they're connected to change location or die.

LISP

Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis

MACINTOSH

Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

Meatspace

The physical world (as opposed to the virtual); also "carbon community," "facetime," "F2F," "RL."

MICROSOFT

Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

MIPS

Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

Nyetscape

Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.

Object Value

In industrial design, a measure of consumers' immediate desire for an object, even before they know or understand what it does. "Gassee may be nuts, but at least the BeBox has great object value."

Open-Collar Workers

People who work at home or telecommute.

OS/2

Obsolete Soon, Too.

PCMCIA

People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

PENTIUM

Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

Percussive maintenance

The fine art of whacking a device to get it working again.

Plug-and-Play

A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John, is great. He's totally plug-and-play."

Prairie dogging

In companies where everyone has a cubicle, something happens and everyone pops up to look.

Ribs 'n' dick

A budget with no fat; "We've got ribs 'n' dick and we're supposed to find 20K for memory upgrades??"

RISC

Reduced Into Silly Code

Salmon day

Swimming upstream all day to get screwed in the end.

SCSI

System Can't See It

Shopper-Lifting

When a store's electronic scanner (usually inadvertently) prices an item higher than the price on the store's shelf or in an advertisement.

Siliwood

The coming convergence of movies, interactive TV and computers; also "Hollywired."

Square-headed girlfriend/boyfriend

Computer.

Squirt The Bird

To transmit a signal up to a satellite. "Crew and talent are ready...what time do we squirt the bird?"

Tourists

People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the rest were tourists."

Treeware

Paper manuals and documentation.

Umfriend

Person with whom you have a sexual relationship; "This is Dale, my...um...friend."

Under Mouse Arrest

Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."

WINDOWS

Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

World Wide Wait

The real meaning of WWW.

Yuppie food coupons

Twenty dollar bills from an ATM.

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